Pike House, Year 4

So we are officially old. Yep, real old. As evidenced by Friday night, when we went to the Pike house to see Cowboy Mouth. Their lead singer looks really gay by the way. Anyway, I drove after we went and ate at Old Venice, and there was a line of like 100 people outside. We found out that it was the girls line, so Mike and I skipped with Nick up to the front so we could pretend we were rushees. We had to sign the list- Mike scribbled, I wrote down "Hairy Old Man." Anyway, we got in the door and proceeded to watch Kellie and Brandee skip literally the entire line and just walk to the front of the line. I think all of the freshman girls were just amazed that they had the guts to do it, so they didnt say anything, and the girls got in pretty quick.

Most of the night was uneventful, but there are some really good quotes, and I will share them now.

Mike decided that it was taking entirely too long getting up the stairs, so he started screaming out "I am a very important person! VIP coming through, get out fo the way! I know important people and I have 600 friends on Facebook!"

My technique was more aimed at the freshman girls, as I tried to convince more than a few that they were handing out free Chi-O bids upstairs. I also told Kellie that a girl that passed us by on the stairs looked like a character from Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas, and the girl heard me and got pissed.

We ran into our friend Amy in the hall, and she was rather intoxicated, and attempting to get rid of her drink, so she gave it to Nick. This is Mike, from 15 feet away in line at the bathroom:
"Nick, don't drink it! It's got the AIDS!!!!" We all pretty much died after that.

The last thing noteworthy at the party is that we were trying to find a ride home (God Bless Ashely Guinn, the best dd EVER) and we were in a room off to the side of the real party. SOme girls wandered in and we started talking to them, and the fire alarm went off. The more intoxicated (or just dumber) one asked what it was, and I told her it was the free beer alarm. She was like "Really?" and I told her yes, that it goes off once a party at the Pike house and all the rooms hand out free beer. Her friend looked at me and rolled her eyes, and told her it was the fire alarm, then they just kinda left.

Outside the house we were waiting on Ashley to come get us, and there were a bunch of groups of randome freshmen passing us. Mike interacted with three different groups.

Group 1:
Girls: Hey, do you know what time the Rebel Ride comes by?
Mike: Yea, 9:15, 9:30, 9_15. 9:30, 9:45....
Girls: Ohhh, he means every 15 minutes, thats not bad (Mike had no idea what time the Rebel Ride came). We're going to the Library!
Mike: I love the Library! It's the most awesome place in the world! DJ Mario is playing, he's the greatest!
Girls: Is he making fun of us?
Mike: No no, I really love the Library.
Girls: Oh ok, sorry.
(Mike was obviously making fun of them.

Group 2:
Mike: Hey guys, they're not letting you into the Pike house unless you have your collar popped. Pop your collars!
Guys: Oh ok, we better pop em. Thanks man!

Group 3:
Guy: Do you have a lighter?
Mike: God does.
Guy: Are you God?
Mike: No, but you'd be surprised, I get that alot.

Ok, the end, goodnight. -Chris

Go To Hell LSU

THe nite before the lsu game sophomore year me and nick began drinking at the ole miss basketball game, we then drank at the pike house and finally met up with everyone at northgate. After consuming enormous amounts of alcohol, i decided to get some drunk food. I ordered dominos and chris, kellie, doug, and i all went to get it. As we were driving there we yelled at every possible person we saw screaming "go to hell lsu". After we got the pizza we decided to see what the square looked like. We got on the square and the on the right side of the street was all lsu fans and on the left side was all ole miss fans,each cussing and screaming back and forth. Doug and I sitting in the backseat started to scream "go to hell lsu" again. This time some of the lsu people heard us and started banging on chris' car. We rolled up the window and just sat there because the traffic was so bad. These drunk cajuns just kept hitting our car. We finally made it out of the square and continued drinking. -Mike

Tequila Shot Nite

Every college student share the same experiences, and believe one of those is those random tequila shot nites. On our occasion, Joe had gotten a handle of Jose Cuervo tequila. Joe and I were talking about how we wanted to go to the bars taht nite. We decided we would pregame by doing tequila shots that way we could be drunk by the time we got to the bars. So we went to Wal Mart and got a couple of limes and some salt. At about 7 oclock that nite our evening began. Naturally the first couple of shots were rough and were very spaced out. However as time passed we just kept taking shots, one after another after another. By about 830 or so we had each had about 10 or 11 shots of tequila. After the last shot of tequila Joe and I were hammered. I remember laying underneath my bed, joe was laying on my bed so there was no where else for me to lay, and then i remember waking up and looking at the clock. It was 12, I woke Joe up and we realized the tequila had knocked us out, we missed going to the bars. We then proceded to pass back out as we were still wasted. I havent had tequila since that nite but i think another might be in order -Mike

The 6 Week Jeans

Sophomore year was a special football year for Ole Miss. They won 10 games and went to the Cotton Bowl. They also had a six game winning streak during the middle of the year, that gave hopes to an SEC championship. Most people think its because of Eli Manning that the Rebels played so well. This, however, is not the case. The reason the Rebels won 6 games was because of me and my jeans. The day before the Florida game I washed my jeans, the next day I went over to CHris' house to watch the game. He kept saying that Ole Miss was gonna win, I told him he was crazy. Well Ole Miss ended up winning, and then they won again the next week. Now back sophomore year I did not do my own laundry I simply waited until I got back home and got my mom to do it. Well I came home during one of the weekends and my mom asked if she needed to wash my jeans. This was during a Ole Miss football game. This got me to thinking, the last time these jeans were washed was the day before the Florida game, I cant wash these jeans now Ive gotta ride this out. So i did. I wore the jeans everyday for 6 weeks and Ole Miss kept winning. Then the LSU game and the jeans ran out of luck. The next day I put the jeans in the laundry. Now everyone knows the real reason Ole Miss was so good. -Mike

Last Nite

So last nite we needed someone to give us a ride to the square. We called Sarah Bynum and she gracioulsy agreed to drive us. We all loaded into the car and she told us no alcholic beverages in her car. Chris and Kellie managed to sneak two bottles of bud light into her car. The car was full with me Chris Kellie and my sister, Emily, in the back seat. I was up against the window so Chris told me to dispose of the bottles out of the window. I casually unrolled my window and droped the first bottle with no problems. I then waited and dropped the second bottle. Next thing we know, a police car lights are flashing behind us. We were all like "Fuck". We pulled over and it wasnt one cop car, it wasnt even two cop cars but three cop cars. Two cops approached and shined flashlights in our eyes. They asked if they knew why we got pulled over. We said because we threw a beer bottle of the window, they said that and we were speeding. The officer then asked who threw the bottle out the window and I admitted to it. The lady told me she just picked up my trash. SHe asked for Sarah and my drivers license and we handed them over. The lady officer started acting crazy. She started banging on the front seat passenger window and Eric started to roll it down. The entire time she was knocking on the window going hello, hello. Chris explained to her we had all had something to drink and Sarah was our dd and she was taking us to our friends house. I then told teh lady Sarah had seen several cops tonite and we didnt want to get pulled over with a open beer bottle thats why I threw it out. The lady started acting crazy again saying and I quote "I see dead people". Now i have no idea why she said that but she did. Suddenly a fourth cop car comes up and she asks what they should do with us. They decided not to give us any tickets and then the crazy lady officer told me that next time i throw a beer bottle out of the window that i need to aim for a street sign. She said "its easy all you have to do is flip you wrist". She then showed me how to hit a street sign wiht a beer bottle. A male cop approacehd and said "next time your throw a beer bottle out the window make sure there arent any cops around". I responded by saying yes sir and then he handed me the beer bottle i threw out the window. They told us to get a dd tonite and dont litter and dont speed. We thanked them and drove off. -Mike

Marc's Pizza

Freshman year we were all hanging out in Marc and Chris' room. Marc ordered two pizzas. Now as most of you already know, Marc is lazy and would pay people to go get his pizza for him. This time he persuaded Andrew and John into going to get the pizza for a dollar each. They went downstairs and got the pizza and brought it back upstairs. The thing is they didnt bring it directly to Marc. They took a detour and ate one of the pizzas. They ate the entire thing except for a single pizza crust. Finally they showed up and we wondered where they had gone to. They just said they were waiting for the pizza guy to show up. Marc opened his first pizza and everything was fine and then he opened his second pizza and there was a single pizza crust in the box. He questioned Andrew and John, but they told him they didnt touch his pizza. Marc immediately got on the phone and called the pizza place and told them one of their delivery men had eaten one of his pizzas. Marc was so pissed. -Mike

Top Oxford Characters

People always say how Oxford is a quaint Southern town and it is but one of my favorite part of Oxford is the people or should I say the characters that inhabit this place. Its no wonder Faulkner was such a good writer.

8. John the Cajun at Pizza Hut - John just barely made the list but if you have ever been to Pizza Hut on University chances are you have dealt with him and his unaudible Cajun accent.

7. Larry the barber - We found Larry by an ad in the DM. It said to come and visit his gentleman's club so we did. Chris and Nick went to get their haircuts and while cutting Nick's hair, Larry stopped and started brushing his own hair with the very comb he was using of Nick's hair. Nick became a regular and on another occasion Larry asked Nick "if he had a big stick" Also Nick asked Larry to buy an ad in the Pike Calender which he did, I believe the ad read "Boys dont forget your sticks"

6. Nelson Mandela - I guess after he was freed he decided to come to Oxford to be free because he can be seen wandering Unviersity. If you wave at Mr. Mandela he will wave back. Mr. Mandela does not seem to believe in using automobiles.

5. Angry Willie at Pizza Hut - Another Pizza Hut entry on the list. Angry Willie works at the Jackson Pizza Hut and he often is the cashier. Angry Willie makes the list because he looks so so so mad everytime someone tries to pay their bill.

4. Coco Princess - Others might have different nicknames but I am referring to the "thing" at Taco Bell. After 3 full years at Ole Miss, we still have no idea if it is a he or a she.

3. Jesus - Jesus can be seen on campus walking in a Delta Gamma pledge jersey and playing with young children in the grove or Jesus can be seen at off campus parties. We saw Jesus the other day at our neighbors party - they introduced us and he said he was Jesus. Chris said "Hey Jesus" and Jesus responded "Hello my son". Later in the nite Chris was arguing about St. Christopher carrying baby Jesus across the river. Jesus said "Yes he did, when I was very young"

2. Chops - As a previous entry talks about Chops works at Back Yard Burger and does Elvis impressions. His persona and sideburns are why he is so high on the list.

1. The Leaner - One of mine and Chris' favorite people in the world. We first discovered the Leaner at Chicken on a Stick late at Night. He was simply leaning in the corner and people watchiing especially the girls. Well everytime we went to CHicken on a Stick he was there. One day Michael talked to him and found out his name was Joel. We havent been to Chicken on a Stick in awhile however we still see the Leaner around. Now he can most commonly be seen sitting on the Wal Mart bench, with his pants unbuttoned, watching all the people. One day Chris and I saw him get in his car and we decided to follow him to see where he lives. The Leaner was parked at the store end of Wal Mart so we raced in our car and followed him. He drove from the store side of the parking lot to the grocery side, where he parked again and went and sat on the benches on that side to resume his people watching. -Mike