Benny Hinn

After the bars close, and all the late nites are over what is a college student to do? Well we were put into that same situation earlier this year. While trying to find something to do at all hours of the morning we stumbled across the minister Benny Hinn. Benny claims to be able to help the less fortunate, and you too can help by simply sending in your money and he will use it for a greater good. We were interested so we decided to call him. We elected Marc to do it because Marc does great impressions (ask him to do LaShawn). After a good laugh we left it alone. That is until the next week when we were bored again. This time I called Benny Hinn (we saved his number in our phone). I talked to a young man named Carlos, and a lenghty conversation with Carlos he asked if we were going to donate any money, he then quickly got off the line with us. The next week same scenario, and once again we talked to Carlos (what were the odds). Week after week kept calling and week after week we kept talking to Carlos. Finally after we heard the words "This is Carlos can I help you?" We would all collectively scream his name. Now Carlos wasnt flattered by this and hung up, this became routine whenever we got Carlos on the line. We did find out some things about Carlos before he started hanging up on us, he is bilungial, he is a swinging bachelor, and we think his favorite movie is Desperado. Call Carlos yourself at 817-722-2000 or 800-433-1900 we found that he usually works in the early mornings on Saturdays. -MIke

Living in the Dorms

Living in the dorms sucks and heres why:

1. the check in rule is so baffling to me, people must be checked in and must leave at a certain time however we are able to do everything else by ourselves, but it wasnt too bad because you find ways around these rules like the emergecny exits that is until a cop hangs out in the basement, but i guess thats why there are 2 emergency exits
2. Space is very limited and while it is nice to be on your own you essential live in a shoebox
3. Bathroom need i say more
4. In deaton's case, when you walked back into the dorms with food there would always be a football player asking for some of your food, that and yelling at passerbys, mostly females
5. I had more but cant think -Mike

Laura Piazza

Marc and Chris were running Hardy Cases presidential campaign freshman year and the night the results were to be read, they made the mistake of leaving me and Nick alone in their room. We began talking about how pissed they would be if Laura was to win. Nick got a great idea that we should print the picture of her from her website and put it all in Marc's stuff. This way later in the week he would find the pictures and if she won he would be really really pissed. Well we then decided to put the pictures anywhere and everywhere. We put the pictures in their books, under the computers, and in their beds and under their mattresses. We then got real clever and went to the fridge. They happened to have kraft singles, we put a picture in between each kraft single. When then put her picture on every other item of food, we then opened the microwave and put some in there. By the time we were done the room was covered. They didnt get back til late but we were confident they hadnt seen them yet. They hadnt, and the next day they began finding them everywhere. They found those pictures until the day they moved out. -Mike

Flaming Dr. Pepper Nite

Chris and I decided to start drinking one nite, before we could partake Stewart knocked on our door, and asked us for beer. He explained he was making flaming dr. peppers, you fill a cup up with a beer adn then you drop a shot of amarito and everlcear in but first you must light the shot on fire and amazingly it tastes just like dr, pepper. Anywho we did a couple and then continued to drink. Chris Rock was on tv and we decided to drink everytime Chris Rock cussed. Basically we got real drunk real fast. We ended up going out to the Library and had a great time. We did not have a ride however, so we wandered to Chevron. At Chevron I told Chris I would get us a ride. I approached a jeep full of tri delts and asked them for a ride, they said no. I continued to beg, they asked where we were going I said Saddle Creek. They were going to the Links, I told them that was perfect because Saddle Creek is right on the way. They kinda laughed and said no for a final time, I left them alone. Chris adn I then began to wander on the Square. There was an older gentleman and i apparently yelled, "Hey Old man give us a ride". Still no luck. After that we went to a large group of people waiting for a ride outside of Old Venice. I took a couple of pictures wiht some of them, and then the rest of the nite is a blur. I woke up the next morning hungover, but it was a great hangover -MIke

Ant Farm

My father sends me new stuff each week in the mail, a couple of weeks ago he sent me an ant farm. He figured they would be the perfect pets for a college student low mainteance etc. Well Chris, Nick and I finally got the time to go get ants. We filled the farm with the sand and then attempted to build tunnels for the ants. However we were unsuccessful in building the tunnels. We then found a huge ant hill. Chris procedded to kick it over, and once he did thousands of ants came hauling ass out of the hill. We got two sticks and tried to get the ants to run on the sticks, we were gonna stick the sticks wiht ants into the farm. Alot of ants quickly ran onto our sticks and while we tried to put them in the ant farm, they were soon crawling on us. One actually bite Chris. We finally got the little bastards into the ant farm. We got about 40 ants into the farm. They didnt seem too happy though. Anyways we got back home and realized we needed to feed our pets. We thought to ourselves, what do ants eat and drink. After discussin this problem, we realized Crystal Light powder would be their drink, they could use their saliva and make crystal light real quick in their mouths, and a chez it would be their food. We put the food into the farm and for some reason they seemed ever more unhappy. We put them on the balcony and let them be, the next day we checked on them and realized we are not yet ready for pets because all our ants are dead. Im not exactly sure how they died but they are dead, maybe the birds living on our balcony can be our next pet. -Mike